On Saturday I cycled the long road through hell and ended up in Shiner. Hell lies in southern Texas, lost in small towns SE of Austin. I had summarily dismissed the potential difficulty of a 100 mile bike ride - a sin that apparently purgatory won't even purify. Forsaken souls harass hell travelers in perpetuity, taking the form of unrelenting wind and ceaseless hills. The heat rose as the crossing (of hell, remember) wore on and the last 25 miles were comparable to the first 75, and took nearly as long. I fell out of the inferno at 2:30 p.m. (7:00 a.m. start), finally redeemed by Cass and Spoetzl Brewery hefeweizen.

Today one of my disgruntled fourth graders informed me that "Sonny licked my face" and then proceeded to gesticulate how said action took place. I unsuccessfully stifled laughter and told him to tell Sonny that I said not to do that anymore.

Another worried child, at recess, expressed his concern that he would suffer the ignominy of forced completion of hitherto uncompleted work during recess hour. I assured him such a trial would not come to pass and he resumed the more glamorized role of moderately paced fence kicking.