98% of Babies Manic-Depressive

A new study published in The Journal of Pediatric Medicine found that a shocking 98% of all infants suffer from bipolar disorder. "The majority of our subjects, regardless of size, sex, or race, exhibited extreme mood swings, often crying one minute and then giggling playfully the next," the study's author Dr. Steven Gregory told reporters. "Additionally we found that most babies had trouble concentrating during the day, often struggled to sleep at night, and could not be counted on to take care of themselves - all classic symptoms of manic depression." Gregory added that nearly 100% of infants appear to suffer from the poor motor skills and impaired speech associated with Parkinson's disease.

Yesterday it hailed cats and dogs. On the way back from getting the mail I plucked a piece of hail out of the front yard that was larger than a golf ball.

One day I'm going to write a book. Prolly not anytime soon. I've come to really enjoy writing in a very similar way to running. One way to put it is I would do either if there were no readers, no spectators - I just enjoy the act itself, for myself. I don't know what kind of book I'm going to write, just that one day I will. I'll most likely try to get it published but expect that it prolly won't, but that doesn't matter. I'd write it even if I knew there was zero chance of publication. It's a personal goal, like running a marathon.

Twice in college I was supposed to read Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, a little book pinpointing the art of good writing. I failed to read it both times but I read it a couple months ago and I think I appreciate it more now than I would have four years ago. Essentially, good writing is precise diction, omission of needless words, use of active voice, and concision.

This post is the 127th of this blog.

Golfers and I have become antagonists. The problem is the golf course setting. It's simply ideal for running, as well as that silly Scottish concoction spawned from an exorbitant amount of free time. See, when the golf course implanting committee met and decided to place a golf course near the school where I've run for many years I was not present. I would have voted no, assuming only golf would be allowed. I don't care that this piece of land has been sanctioned for golfers alone - I've always run there.

It's a little like the problem of government. How to enforce legislation enacted by representatives but not approved by all of those represented? There are always dissenters, and I am such a dissenter in this case. In my opinion, I'm not causing any kind of decrease that is greater in magnitude than the increase in my own happiness resulting from golf course use. And I have no moral qualms with such use, though "not allowed." You should always follow your own government first and foremost. So the next time some Polo-wearing, Khaki-clad asshole yells at me for running on the golf course I'll just speed up as I have always done, and ignore him. Golf carts really aren't that fast.

Reportedly Obama had the White House fountains dyed green today.

A couple weeks ago Rick and Jake were over for dinner.  Grandpa had just returned home from the hospital.  Joe asked if one of them wanted to say the prayer.  Rick volunteered:  "God....thanks for this food.  Thanks for....everything.  Thank you for Grandpa....especially that he is still alive and not dead yet.  Thanks....Amen."

Life is good right now.  I'm excited about events upcoming both spring and summer.

This from A Natural History of the Senses, Diane Ackerman, begins with my favorite word:

The Romans were devotees of what the Germans call Schadenfreude, taking exquisite pleasure in the misfortune of someone else.  They loved to surround themselves with midgets, and handicapped and deformed people, who were made to perform sexually or caberet-style at the parties.  Caligula used to have gladiators get right up on the dinner table to fight, splashing the diners with blood and gore. Not all Romans were sadists, but numbers of the wealthy class and many of the emperors were, and they could own, torture, maltreat, or murder their slaves as much as they wished.  At least one high-society Roman is recorded to have fattened his eels on the flesh of his slaves.  Small wonder Christianity arose as a slave-class movement, emphasizing self-denial, restraint, the poor inheriting the earth, a rich and free life after death, and the ultimate punishment of the luxury-loving rich in the eternal tortures of hell.

Some of you have heard of my two categories for people, but I feel like writing an exposition. There are two types of people out there, the ones that can hang with me, and the ones that are scared...oh wait that's Britney Spears. There are two types of people out there: Formula people and the Pursuit of Happiness people.

Formula people live their lives in a way that they think they should, whether they feel like it or not, whether it makes them happy or not. Behavior is based on the formula, which could be a religion, culture, appeasement of a parent, spouse, career, or it could be the result of not questioning why you are executing the daily actions that you are, not questioning why you are a sheep.

Pursuit of Happiness people do whatever they feel like, whatever they think will make them happy. This could be day to day happiness, or behavior could be based on a long-term happiness goal. As Richard Dawkins says, the founders were very wise to include pursuit. Everyone has the right to the pursuit of happiness, not happiness itself.

Formula people are flawed because there is no formula for life. The simple fact is that we do not know why we are here and we never will know. So all-inclusive formulas, dependent formulas, required formulas, imposed formulas...they're all wrong. The only formula is the pursuit of happiness, and this you will find within yourself.

"Only once you truly know that you will die is when you will start living the life you want" - Emerson

Today I read the essay Napoleon; or, Man of the World written in 1850 by the transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson in his collection Essays and Poems.  Besides having the merit of one of the greatest essays I've ever read (many of his are boring), he within demonstrates a principle I years ago christened the "Alexander the Great syndrome."

The excerpt:  Before he fought a battle, Bonaparte thought little about what he should do in case of success, but a great deal about what he should do in case of a reverse of fortune.  The same prudence and good sense mark all his behavior.  His instructions to his secretary at the Tuileries are worth remembering.  "During the night, enter my chamber as seldom as possible.  Do not awake me when you have any good news to communicate; with that there is no hurry.  But when you bring bad news, rouse me instantly, for then there is not a moment to be lost."  It was whimsical economy of the same kind which dictated his practice, when general in Italy, in regard to his burdensome correspondence.  He directed Bourrienne to leave all letters unopened for three weeks, and then observed with satisfaction how large a part of the correspondence had thus disposed of itself and no longer required an answer.  His achievement of business was immense, and enlarges the known powers of man.  There have been many working kings, from Ulysses to William of Orange, but none who accomplished a tithe of this man's performance.

Legend has it that Alexander the Great (me speaking now) broke down and wept when he discovered he had no worlds left to conquer. I think that an inability to settle, appreciate success, and decelerate ambition is the characteristic of many greatly accomplished men and women. Rather than saying "I am fully sated" after a hearty and delicious meal, the person "struggling with greatness," as Steinbeck says, is mentally preoccupied with the details of the next meal. 

If you care to read the essay:  http://www.emersoncentral.com/napoleon.htm

I always had the quickest out-of-shower into-clothes turnover rate in the locker room at Davidson after practice.  This I achieved by wearing sandals often, never tying my shoes, never accessorizing, and, most importantly, effecting the slight towel dry-off (all things I have done most of my life and still do, I don't even tie my running shoes (fat feet)).  I'm not saying a quick turnover rate is better or even preferable - that depends on the person.  The constant result, however, led me to the following recommendation:  At least try the slight towel dry-off.

Most people towel and dry the living fuck out of themselves after showering.  Why?  Jesus, let evaporation do some of the work.  1) Lightly dry hair 2) ONE towel stroke down each leg 3) ONE towel stroke up back (accomplished by whipping towel around shoulders like a cape) 4) ONE towel stroke down each arm.  That's all.  Do your other areas how you will I guess; I'll just say I don't do much.  If you have done it right, you'll still be a little wet and even get a little water on your clothes.  A pleasant treat! Over the next ten or fifteen minutes you'll enjoy the transience of light liquid evaporation on your skin.