Some funny quotes of late:

"You know you're going to get drunk tonight, and don't try to cherie your way out of it. Cherie! Cherie!" - Alea

"You're a racist." - Myself
"No, I just don't like old people...or Asians." - Alea

"I hate tree-sex." -Alea (Allergies)

A fifth of Maker's Mark for two: Pleasant, not too expensive, lasts the duration of the night. Recommended.

Today I was happy because one of my two 27 shirts came up in the T-shirt rotation, and today is the 27th. Happy 27th! Drinks all around!

Pure amazement.

Who tells themself, "I want to be a landlord. It sounds interesting, and I believe I have the knack for it."

Assholes. Assholes who struggle with fulfillment, sense of purpose, and general goodwill. Assholes who fail to stir up a sufficient amount of drama on their own, and thus turn to others to satisfy their needs. Select landlords could appropriately be compared with leeches.

Let's collect leeches and assign them landlord duties across the nation. Think much would change? We could even throw the landlords into the swamps.

I ran 2:52:45 (6:36/mile) in Boston yesterday. Not exactly what I had planned, but not bad either. The course is mysteriously hard and you can't exactly put your finger on it. It's hard to swallow that downhill running would make you that tired. Greg (former teammate) and I held 6:15 through about the half, where he faded; during the 15th mile I started to slow down, although it felt like I had been slowing since the 11th. Once I reached the hills I was already feeling very worn out. Allergies may have had something to do with it as I had a sore throat and sore red eyes for about 4 days before the race. So it was a slugfest from the hills to the finish, but a fun slugfest nonetheless. The Texas crowd was unbelievable. Seriously, I had "Go Texas" and "Hook em Horns" almost constantly throughout the entire race (because of my Texas running outfit). I saw a sign that read "Austin rocks Boston." The Sox were playing the Rangers that morning at Fenway, and a group of guys had constructed an updatable scoreboard and had propped it up along the course. They yelled "Rangers gettin canned" as I ran by. During the 23rd mile I heard "Alright Lance" and Lance Armstrong and his entourage zipped by me on my right. I was a little pissed, I thought he had been ahead of me the whole time. Nope, taking it conservative so he could negative split. Another former teammate, Jobaker, ran 2:39. My dad, Kat, and Alea were in Natick at the 10 mile mark and they made it back to Boylston St. in time for the finish, which was awesome. It was a great experience overall.

It was inevitably going to happen again sooner or later. A few days ago I went for a run on "Hidden Army Base." That's the name of a particular route; it's sort of hidden, but doesn't have anything to do with the army. It's actually on private property owned by Ingersol Rand, some business company that embodies the epitome of horrible, senseless corporate work.

I was running by the security station and I heard a loud "Hey!" I increased my pace and played deaf. He yelled again but I was out of the vicinity pretty quick. Apparently, though, he radioed for backup because a security car drove by me, stopped, and turned around. I dashed off into the woods where the trail lead, and hoped that the guard wouldn't follow me towards the ends of the property.

But she did, an old woman. I thought she was going to be ratchety, crotchety, and mean. But she was actually really nice and just told me that it was private property and I couldn't run there. "Even after work hours?" in my most innocent voice. I had dealt with this before - the entire team had been kicked off the property more than once.

The peculiar thing, however, was that as I was taking off and she was walking back to her truck, she said, "You come in by the baseball field?"
"Yea," said I, thinking about the beloved entrance of my beloved Hidden Army Base route.
"Watch out for the snakes."

WHAT?!1?

"Haven't you seen the signs?"

No!

"That area is infested with copperheads."

!!!!!!

INFESTED!...COPPERHEADS!

"Be careful on your way out."

Now I've run Hidden Army Base for 5 years now and I have never seen a copperhead, or a warning sign about snakes. Was she fibbing? trying to scare me? updated security guard tactics and strategery??!?!? Was she telling the truth?!?!?! Had there been several near misses????! Oh god!

Needless to say the way out by the baseball field was intense - my senses were heightened to the max. Every sound was movement, every stick a venemous snake. Towards the exit I was high-stepping at full speed. I burst out onto the pavement and into safety.

She was prolly lying but I don't care. INFESTED! COPPERHEADS! In the same sentence! SCARY!

On Sunday I had a very productive day of watching the Masters. I was pulling for Tiger, but he came up short, pun intended. Not sure why I'm such a big Tiger Woods fan but it's really entertaining to watch him play in the majors. It can even be better than playing golf (Wii golf of course...playing real live actual reality golf is simply embarrassing and not fun at all).

Perhaps you knew better but I thought Tiger Woods was straight up African-American. No, he's 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 African-American, 1/4 Thai, 1/8 Native American, and 1/8 Dutch. He's got Africa, Asia...Old World, New World. Add that he's a Buddhist, an American citizen, and married to a Swedish model. And his name is frikkin Tiger, as in the ferocious beast that terrorizes the jungle. Jesus Woods would have been just as suitable.

He could have gone to any college with his ethnic background.
"Tiger your test scores aren't exactly remarkable and your grades don't indicate that you have the necessary study habits for an instituion of our caliber."
"My mom is from Thailand. I have a Native American grandparent. I have a Chinese grandparent on both sides. Are you familiar with Punnett Squares?"
"Yes, yes...I see. Well. I believe you will find Harvard quite agreeable Mr. Woods."

He would ace every class, doesn't matter the subject. On tests he would cross out "explain the significance of the supernatural motif in nineteenth century British literature" and write "1/4 Thai + 1/4 AA + 1/4 Chinese + 1/8 Dutch + 1/8 NA + Enlightenment + retractable claws = A. The teacher would write "I've never had anyone explore the mathematical side of this question....well done."

He shot a 48 on a nine hole course when he was 3, something I could not do right now. I'm not at all joking. That 40 month old kid would beat me at golf. When I was 40 months old I took a shit on the neighbor's driveway and then ran back to my treehouse. I actually had a conversation with my dad and brother once about how there are prolly 15 or 20 Tiger Woodss in the world right now, except only the Tiger Woods had golf exposure and was able to capitalize on his innate talent. He can benchpress 300 lbs and lifts weights just so that he can hit the ball further. Allegedly he's going to be the world's first billionaire athlete in 2010.

I can't imagine that it's much more preferable to be that famous with that much recognition. However, maybe he's great at being famous, too.

The governor of Kansas, one of Obama's potential VP picks, spoke at a rally on campus this afternoon. In the introduction President Ross alluded to her bravery and courage in visiting this school, "at the hands of which her now national champion Jayhawks narrowly escaped defeat."

There was the usual hoopla about Davidson gaining national recognition and also the usual hoopla about change being good. I registered to vote in the North Carolina primary but I'll re-register for the main election in Texas.

Fargo is a masterpiece. It seems weird to me that I didn't see the movie until tonight. I also saw Dr. Suess' Horton Hears a Who recently, and it was enjoyable. Thank God for Dr. Suess.

Causal theories of the mind can't account for abstract thoughts? Or for thoughts of things that don't exist? Abstract thoughts don't exist....and you cannot think of anything that doesn't exist.

Sure I can, you will say. I can think of Santa Claus and unicorns, and those things don't exist.

You can think of red, and beards, and old men (all of which exist) and you can think of a combination of those things. Similarly, you can think of horns, the color purple, horses, and fluffy tails (all of which exist) and a unicornable combination of those.

I can think of heaven, and the number 3, you will say. Those are abstract thoughts and they don't exist.

When you think of heaven, what is it exactly that you think of? Clouds? Angels? Green hills? Waterfalls? Our pictoral notion of angels is a combination of things that exist, the rest of these things clearly exist. When you think of the number 3, it is either a visual three or an auditory three, (If you deny this you are deceiving yourself, be honest) both of which exist.

Here's a thought experiment: Try to think of a color that doesn't exist.

Conclusion: There are no such things as abstract thoughts, only thoughts of things that do exist on an increasing scale of complexity. Please comment if you feel so inclined.

Steph Curry on Conan O'Brien tonight.

Every day at Summit Coffee we have a trivia written below the blends and varietals of the day. Today's was "Which continent gets the least amount of precipitation?" (Antarctica) If you get it right you get 10 cents off your total, which usually ends up in the tip jar. Ploy?

A year ago today Brett, one of the managers, came up with the trivia. It read "Which major corporation is running Summit Coffee out of business?" The answer was "Starbucks...we're closing August 31, 2007." It was an April Fool's joke.

However, Brett succeeded in making multiple customers, that's more than one, literally shed tears. A guy who owns a shop down Main St. went out on the back porch and lost it.

Small town people man. Don't mess with em.