On Sunday I had a very productive day of watching the Masters. I was pulling for Tiger, but he came up short, pun intended. Not sure why I'm such a big Tiger Woods fan but it's really entertaining to watch him play in the majors. It can even be better than playing golf (Wii golf of course...playing real live actual reality golf is simply embarrassing and not fun at all).

Perhaps you knew better but I thought Tiger Woods was straight up African-American. No, he's 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 African-American, 1/4 Thai, 1/8 Native American, and 1/8 Dutch. He's got Africa, Asia...Old World, New World. Add that he's a Buddhist, an American citizen, and married to a Swedish model. And his name is frikkin Tiger, as in the ferocious beast that terrorizes the jungle. Jesus Woods would have been just as suitable.

He could have gone to any college with his ethnic background.
"Tiger your test scores aren't exactly remarkable and your grades don't indicate that you have the necessary study habits for an instituion of our caliber."
"My mom is from Thailand. I have a Native American grandparent. I have a Chinese grandparent on both sides. Are you familiar with Punnett Squares?"
"Yes, yes...I see. Well. I believe you will find Harvard quite agreeable Mr. Woods."

He would ace every class, doesn't matter the subject. On tests he would cross out "explain the significance of the supernatural motif in nineteenth century British literature" and write "1/4 Thai + 1/4 AA + 1/4 Chinese + 1/8 Dutch + 1/8 NA + Enlightenment + retractable claws = A. The teacher would write "I've never had anyone explore the mathematical side of this question....well done."

He shot a 48 on a nine hole course when he was 3, something I could not do right now. I'm not at all joking. That 40 month old kid would beat me at golf. When I was 40 months old I took a shit on the neighbor's driveway and then ran back to my treehouse. I actually had a conversation with my dad and brother once about how there are prolly 15 or 20 Tiger Woodss in the world right now, except only the Tiger Woods had golf exposure and was able to capitalize on his innate talent. He can benchpress 300 lbs and lifts weights just so that he can hit the ball further. Allegedly he's going to be the world's first billionaire athlete in 2010.

I can't imagine that it's much more preferable to be that famous with that much recognition. However, maybe he's great at being famous, too.