It was inevitably going to happen again sooner or later. A few days ago I went for a run on "Hidden Army Base." That's the name of a particular route; it's sort of hidden, but doesn't have anything to do with the army. It's actually on private property owned by Ingersol Rand, some business company that embodies the epitome of horrible, senseless corporate work.

I was running by the security station and I heard a loud "Hey!" I increased my pace and played deaf. He yelled again but I was out of the vicinity pretty quick. Apparently, though, he radioed for backup because a security car drove by me, stopped, and turned around. I dashed off into the woods where the trail lead, and hoped that the guard wouldn't follow me towards the ends of the property.

But she did, an old woman. I thought she was going to be ratchety, crotchety, and mean. But she was actually really nice and just told me that it was private property and I couldn't run there. "Even after work hours?" in my most innocent voice. I had dealt with this before - the entire team had been kicked off the property more than once.

The peculiar thing, however, was that as I was taking off and she was walking back to her truck, she said, "You come in by the baseball field?"
"Yea," said I, thinking about the beloved entrance of my beloved Hidden Army Base route.
"Watch out for the snakes."

WHAT?!1?

"Haven't you seen the signs?"

No!

"That area is infested with copperheads."

!!!!!!

INFESTED!...COPPERHEADS!

"Be careful on your way out."

Now I've run Hidden Army Base for 5 years now and I have never seen a copperhead, or a warning sign about snakes. Was she fibbing? trying to scare me? updated security guard tactics and strategery??!?!? Was she telling the truth?!?!?! Had there been several near misses????! Oh god!

Needless to say the way out by the baseball field was intense - my senses were heightened to the max. Every sound was movement, every stick a venemous snake. Towards the exit I was high-stepping at full speed. I burst out onto the pavement and into safety.

She was prolly lying but I don't care. INFESTED! COPPERHEADS! In the same sentence! SCARY!