Saturday, April 4, 2009

In college I debated with my friends whether objects could be appropriately classified as masculine or feminine. Our centerpiece object was the umbrella and I argued that this was a feminine object. My opponents argued that objects are gender neutral - utter silliness. An umbrella is a feminine object because more women use umbrellas than men, it is more closely associated with women in art, and it more accurately depicts a woman in shape and function. Simple. Please, wear your unjustified discontent and dispute.

A lance is a masculine object. A vase is a feminine object. Chain mail is masculine wear. A gown is feminine wear. Trucks are masculine vehicles. VW Bugs are feminine vehicles. Overcoats may be gender neutral. Robes are kind of gay. Long, flowing hair and makeup are NOT feminine:

Letters and words are also largely masculine or feminine. Sharp, twinkle, sprightly, lily - feminine words. Hard, smash, chiseled, force- masculine. P, l, i, y, t - feminine letters. D, c, h, o - masculine.

2 comments:

Adam said...

I don't know if you read Sullivan or not. I think you'd enjoy Yglesias more, but still, Sullivan had done a short stint writing about the semicolon. It's gay, or so the majority seem to think.

John Von Doeh said...

Interesting. Strunk and White write laudably of the semicolon and I have always been fond of it. That being said, I should prolly tone them down a bit.