On a Puerto Rican ranch in 1995, eight sheep were discovered dead, each of their chests having small incisions, and exsanguinated, or completely drained of blood. Near San Antonio in 2004, a rancher reported a hairless dog-like creature attacking his livestock. Unidentifiable bodies were found in Cuero, Texas, where 30 mutilated chickens were documented in one year. Other exsanguinated bodies have been found, other sightings reported, escalating in recent years. Few types of farm animals have been spared. Most believe that the bloodthirsty beasts are coyotes with severe cases of sarcoptic mange, and the incisions and exsanguination explained by the activities of sadistic cults. But I know better; it is the work of chupacabra.

The chupacabra, Spanish chupar, to suck, and cabra, goat, is a relative of the vampire bat but has developed fox and canine-like characteristics. Nocturnal and reclusive, they have successfully remained unknown to humans, covering the southwestern United States and Mexico. This is what they prolly look like:

Deadly chupacabra

Chupacabra with a good haul

Video footage caught by a DeWitt county sheriff this month, near Cuero. Curiously long chupacabrish snout.

Nessie, Bigfoot, yetis, banshees?!?! Prolly no. But Chupacabra, Yes! More T-shirts please.